5 Reasons It's Okay to Indulge in 'Lazy Parenting'

Sometimes parenting can feel overwhelming, so one parent is here to say it’s okay to be a “lazy parent”. James Breakwell, author of Bare Minimum Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Not-Quite Ruining Your Child, shares five things you can do to slow down and enjoy the adventure of parenting. So go ahead, indulge in “lazy parenting”!

There’s an abundance of resources—from books and magazines to Facebook and parent groups—to turn to when seeking advice on how to raise the smartest, highest-achieving, and most successful children. We all want what’s best for our kids, after all. But James Breakwell, professional comedy writer and self-proclaimed amateur father of four girls (and two pigs), suggests it’s simply a waste of time. “In the long run, we all work out to be average,” he says. “Your child would be better off if you just relax and do a little less for them, rather than stress yourself out and push them as hard as possible.”

Breakwell, author of Bare Minimum Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Not-Quite Ruining Your Child, shares advice that proves it’s okay to be a “lazy parent.” 
   

Say no to (parental) peer pressure.

When the mother of a boy in your son’s Boy Scout troop makes comments about the Kit-Kat you put in his lunch or your daughter’s field hockey coach asks why she’s not on a travel team yet (in fourth grade), it can be difficult to stick to your own parenting ways. But if every parent thinks they’re right about how to parent and you’re wrong, then everyone is wrong, according to Breakwell. “If someone tells you you’re a terrible parent, who cares,” he says. “They can’t stop you from giving your kid that candy bar. We’ve been raising kids for hundreds of thousands of years before Facebook and online forums. Don’t let parent-shaming control your decisions.”
  

Show up sometimes, but not all the time.

“Raise your kid to think they’re a member of the family, not the entire family,” Breakwell suggests. By dropping everything, leaving work, and traveling far and wide to go to every single one of your son’s lacrosse games, you’re teaching him that he’s the epicenter of the universe and he should only do things in search of your validation, not because he loves them. Instead, Breakwell suggests showing up when you can, and when you do, take him out for dinner after the game. “After all, your kids aren’t going to remember the games you weren’t at, but they will remember the one time you took them for pizza after,” he says.

Speaking of sports, are you spending all of your time and money to fly around the country, pay tournament fees, and book hotels so your child can potentially get a scholarship to college and you can save money? Breakwell compares that to spending $1,000 at a claw machine for a $5 stuffed animal. “Why not take all of that money you’re wasting and save it for college?” Breakwell suggests. Plus, it’s likely your kid won’t become a professional sports player.